Multiple Personality Problem
by Lukeprism
Summary: Lucas' mysterious new shirts have a strange effect on the boy; can fellow Smashers handle his sudden changes in demeanor? Crack and not-so-crack pairings within. Chapter Three: Yellow and Teal Stripes, with Red Hair? Indefinite hiatus.
1. Purple and Darker Purple Stripes

_**A/N: Welcome one and all to one of the silliest fics you'll ever read! Okay, it might not be that bad. You'll have to see for yourself. In case you're confused, the gimmick here is Lucas' alternate outfits/colors having personalities all their own. Hee, this is going to be fun~**_

WARNINGS: Hetero- and homosexuality, crack and (basically) canon pairings, frequent OOC moments for our dear Lucas and perhaps others, mild cursing, and lulz.

If you can handle all that, then welcome to the mansion! On behalf of everyone here, I hope you enjoy your stay. :B

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing here except maybe the (lack of) plot.

—**s—t—a—r—t—f—i—c—t—i —o—n—**

Lucas yawned, rolling out from under his covers and onto the floor with a soft _FLUMP_. Sitting upright and rubbing his eyes in an attempt to ward off his sleepiness, he threw the nearest thing he could reach from the floor up to the top bunk in order to wake Ness, his roommate, because Lord knows a simple 'time to wake up, Ness' never works. This item happened to be a Wiimote; it flew up and hit Ness right on the noggin, eliciting a sharp yelp and flailing of the arms on the dark-haired boy's part.

He sat bolt upright, holding his head and eyes scanning the area quickly for any signs of danger. But all he saw was Lucas picking himself up off the floor and giving him a rather tired smirk. "Good morning, Ness," he said, as if there was nothing wrong with this picture.

Ness stifled a groan. "Lucas," he began, making his way to the ladder on the side of their collective beds, hand never leaving his head of messy black hair. "I told you to just come up and tickle me awake or something. You don't have to give me a concussion every time!"

"Sorry," Lucas conceded, though his tone wasn't the least bit resentful.

The two got dressed in a more or less amiable silence. Ness' morning ritual was very simple; shed the pajamas, pull on the nearest articles of clothing that smelled somewhat decent, grab his trusty hat, bat and backpack, and he was done. Lucas was a bit more complex. He spent at least five minutes in the bathroom fiddling with his thick blonde hair before he so much as thought about getting dressed. Good thing all Ness' clothes were in the dresser out in the living area. The dark-haired boy didn't understand why Lucas even bothered with his hair; it always flipped up like an ice cream cone no matter how much gel he put in it.

Ness grew tired of waiting for his friend, who hadn't even figured out what he was going to wear yet. "Lucas, I'll wait in the hall. Take more than ten minutes and I'm leaving you!" he yelled through the bathroom door as he walked away, rolling his eyes at the blonde's goofy "Kay!" as he left.

Lucas stood in front of the mirror in said bathroom, frowning at his hair. He could never get it to do anything besides that trademark little flip. Sighing, he turned around and slid the little door that sat there open, revealing a small built-in closet housing all the boy's clothes. Pushing hangers aside and evaluating his options, he selected a clean pair of denim shorts from the small stack to the right. But what to wear shirt-wise? He saw that he had quite a few clean shirts to choose from: a teal and yellow striped shirt (which came with a painful pang to the chest upon sight), a two-tone red striped shirt, a two-tone purple striped shirt, a dark green and maroon striped shirt, and a blue and white striped shirt. Briefly he wondered where all these shirts had come from, but shrugged the thought off and grabbed a shirt decisively. He was feeling purple today.

_-asdfjkl;-_

Ike spotted the dark-haired boy standing in the hallway alone, his back leaning against the door that led to the room he and Lucas shared and foot tapping impatiently. The blue-haired mercenary slowed to halt in front of his and greeted the boy. "Morning, Ness."

Ness opened his eyes and looked up, recognizing the deep voice. "Oh, hey, Ike," he responded, pushing off the door and standing upright.

"Aren't you coming down to breakfast?"

Ness cast his eyes sideways, sighing. "I'm waiting for the blockhead," he answered, and they both knew who he was referring to. "No offense, but Lucas is exhausting to be around sometimes."

"Oh, none taken. I know all about that," Ike agreed, crossing his arms. "So would you; you're the one who lives with him."

Ness nodded. "Sure do. Dammit, I _told_ him ten minutes was the max! It's been at least fifteen," he suddenly raged, turning and preparing to yell something through the door at the absent blonde.

Before he could, however, there was a sudden bloodcurdling scream, coming from right inside the door.

Both males froze for a split second. Then Ness barged back inside, frantic eyes scanning the room. "Lucas!" he called, rushing to the bathroom door that was still closed, Ike not hesitating to follow his lead. Ness pressed an ear to the door, hearing whimpers. "Lucas! What's wrong? I'm coming in," he said, waiting only long enough to get the words out of his mouth before he threw the door open, Ike hovering above him. They both peered inside anxiously.

Lucas was on the floor, dressed in denim shorts and a purple striped t-shirt and wailing into the tile, splayed on his stomach like he'd just heard the worst news of his life.

Ness and Ike rushed to his side, panic overriding everything else. "Lucas," Ike spoke over the boy's sobs this time, tentatively touching the blonde's shoulder, "what happened?" Ness was looking him up and down, trying to asses the situation himself. Had he hurt himself somehow?

Lucas groaned, silencing his cries for a moment. "I—I just," he hiccuped here, "...my h-hair won't _do_ anything!" he wailed, crying as if this was a matter of life or death. "It just sits there in that annoying flip thing! It's so _ugly!_ I want to die!"

Both Ike's and Ness' jaws dropped to the floor. But while Ike deadpanned, Ness about slapped the grief-stricken boy. "The hell are you doing, screaming like that over your damn hair! I thought you were _dying_ or something, you stupid prick!" He picked Lucas up off the floor by the shoulders. "It looks fine! Quit being such a baby and man up!" Ike had never seen Ness so pissed off, though he couldn't be blamed; the bluenette was tempted to whack him for such a scare too.

Lucas looked shocked, staring at Ness with wide teary eyes. Then, most unexpectedly, he gave him a wide grin. "You really think so, Ness?" he asked, and one could almost see the stars in his eyes as he did so.

Ness looked nonplussed. "Wha—I mean—_yes!_ Yes, damn it, you look _fine_." Ness looked to Ike for help. "Doesn't he look fine, Ike?"

Ike nodded. "Yes. Lucas, you look stunning."

Lucas turned to look at the tallest boy with a dreamy smile. "Aww, thanks, Ike!" he threw himself at the other in a hug. Ike looked down at the blonde with an eyebrow raised, nevertheless patting him on the head in response.

A few other Smashers could be seen gathering in the hallway outside the room, having heard the ruckus. Link had the tenacity to enter. "Hey, is everything okay?" he poked his head in and asked, shooting the three on the floor in the bathroom a questioning look. "We heard screaming."

Ness stood up, dusting his shorts off with an irritated look. "Yeah, yeah, we're fine. Lucas is just having a 'bad hair day'," he answered, using air quotes accordingly.

When Ike managed to pry Lucas off his middle, the three made their way from the dorm floor to the first floor, to the very end of which lay the cafeteria. Nearly all the other Smashers were there, sitting in small groups and chatting amongst themselves, eating breakfast contentedly and waiting for the day's practice matches to be posted. Grabbing various food items off the buffet table, the trio headed to their usual table and sat down with their group of friends, which consisted of Toon Link, Red, Popo, Nana, and Pit, all of which were about halfway done with their own plates.

Popo grinned through his stuffed mouth, greeting the latecomers with a muffled voice. "G'mrningf, Rukush, Nesh, Ike."

Toon Link frowned at him. "Don't talk with your mouth full, it's gross."

"Hey guys!" Lucas chirped as he seated himself between Ike and Ness comfortably, apparently having fully recovered from his little breakdown that morning.

"Mornin'," Nana acknowledged them.

"What's up?" Red said.

"A good morning to you all," Pit smiled.

"Hey all," Ness answered.

Ike just grunted.

"So why were you guys late to breakfast?" Popo asked, having swallowed his food. "Let me guess; Ness wouldn't wake up again."

Ness frowned, munching on his bacon. "No, actually. It was all Lucas this time." The dark-haired boy cast a look at the blonde next to him, whom had just taken his first bite of omelet. "He was throwing a huge fit over his hair."

Toon Link raised an eyebrow. "Like he always does?"

Ness shook his head. "No, even worse. He screamed so loud we thought he was dying, and he was lying on the floor sobbing like an idiot."

All eyes turned to Lucas now, who shrugged nonchalantly. "What? Don't tell me you guys have never gotten so fed up with your hair that you just go off."

Pit laughed. "I can honestly say that's never happened to me before."

"Nor me," Red added, regarding Lucas with an amused expression.

"Not even I do that, Lucas," Nana sighed, picking at her pancake.

Lucas just shrugged his shoulders again. "Whatever," he said as he continued to eat.

"You just can't admit that that was out of line," Ness muttered, rolling his eyes and opening a packet of ketchup to squirt onto his scrambled eggs. Unfortunately, he opened it a little too roughly, and a good portion of it flew out of the little package and onto Lucas' shirt, forming a huge, noticeable blob of red on his side. Lucas, feeling something, looked down and gasped, all of a sudden glaring at the dark-haired boy fiercely.

"You...you _bastard_! Look at what you _did_! There's ketchup _all over_ my shirt! Ugh, why are you so _sloppy? _Idiot!" he yelled at the boy next to him, getting all up in his face and hitting his shoulder. His voice was so loud some people around the cafeteria were now looking at them.

Ness jerked away from him, clearly surprised at his sudden flare of anger. "Woah, man, calm down. It's just ketchup..."

"Just ketchup? _Just_ ketchup? Ness, this is a _brand new_ shirt! It's...it's..." the blonde was shaking, his head bowed, when just as suddenly as before, he began to sob. "It's_ ruined!_" he howled, attracting even more attention from everyone else. "I can't get this much ketchup off my shirt! It's impossible! It's going to look so _tacky_!"

Everyone at the table stared at him with disbelief, amazed at how fast the transition from rage to utmost sorrow had been. They were all quiet for a moment, not even Ness having any idea of what to say.

"Hey, Ike!" Wolf shouted from across the room. "Tell your boyfriend to shut the hell up!"

A few scattered chuckles and giggles were heard. It was common knowledge that Lucas and Ike had a 'thing' going on, and most of the teasing that had erupted once this fact was made public (by an all-too-estatic Peach, who else?) had died down significantly, though every once in a while it came up again. Ike rolled his eyes but didn't dignify the guy with an answer, instead opting to wrap a soothing arm around Lucas' shaking shoulders. "C'mon, Lucas, it _is_ just ketchup. I know Peach could get that stain out if you asked her nicely."

Lucas' fit was reduced to sniffles. "Y-you really think so, Ike?"

Ike gave the blonde a bro-hug. "Of course."

Ness sighed, deciding that playing along was his best option in this case. "And I'm sorry I was stupid and spilled my ketchup," he apologized, not really meaning much of it.

Lucas wiped at his face. "Y'know, it's okay. It's just a shirt, after all," he reasoned, starting to giggle. "I was being silly, huh?"

"Extremely," the dark-haired boy mumbled under his breath, picking at his eggs, which were still ketchup-less. Everyone who had been watching, now satisfied, turned back to their own tables and the idle chatter resumed.

The rest of breakfast passed in a happy mood...for Lucas, at least. All besides him kept giving the oblivious blonde strange looks, wondering just what was wrong with him. He'd never gotten so angry in front of everyone like that before, nor been that turbulent in emotion. It was like he was PMSing or something. Ness was very careful after that while eating, not wanting another incident like the previous to unfold. Not even Ike had any idea of what had gotten into him.

After breakfast, at nine o'clock, the day's brawl schedule was posted. Since it was the weekend, they weren't official, but everyone still loved them because of how fun they were; while normal tournament matches were always three stock, no item, Final Destination only, the weekend matches were always wild and more fun-oriented. All the Smashers gathered around the electronic screen that listed the day's upcoming matches. The first one was as follows:

_**FREE-FOR-ALL. FALCO, IKE, GAME N' WATCH, ZELDA. FIFTY STOCK. ALL ITEMS ON. SMASHVILLE. BEGINS AT NINE FIFTEEN.**_

Most everyone groaned, disappointed that they hadn't been picked for the first match. Ike himself sighed, crossing his arms. "Fifty stock? That's going to take a while."

Lucas was looking at the other brawls scheduled throughout the rest of the day. "I...I don't see my name anywhere..." the blonde said shakily, like he was about to cry again.

Ness quickly intervened. "That's okay, Lucas! Today's only Saturday anyway. You'll probably have one tomorrow!" he reassured with a fake tone of excitement.

The shortest boy pondered this for a moment. "Yeah...you're right!" he suddenly agreed, smiling again. He then faced the taller bluenette. "Good luck today, Ike!" he sang, latching onto him again in a hug. "I know you'll do super awesome!"

A few of the nearby Smashers scoffed, while others _aww_'d. Ike chuckled and rubbed the boy's back gratefully, not missing the fact that Lucas was being awfully touchy-feely today, much more so than usual. "Thank you. And while I'm fighting, maybe you and Ness could go get that stain of yours taken care of?"

"Yeah! That's a great idea! Right, Ness?" Lucas detached and turned to the other boy, beaming and just absurdly happy over something so trivial.

Ness faked a smile, internally rolling his eyes. He couldn't very well turn him down, though; the stain had been his fault, after all. "Yeah, 'course. I'm sure Peach hasn't got anything else to do."

"Then it's settled," Ike nodded, gently pushing Lucas away. "You kids have fun."

Ness grunted. "You're only two years older than us."

"But you still act like kids, right?"

Ness merely turned away, grabbing Lucas' wrist and dragging the blonde off with him and ignoring Ike's warning of 'be careful with Lucas, okay?'. As they turned down the corridor, he muttered grumpily. "He's so high and mighty...I don't know what you see in him, man."

Lucas giggled a little uncharacteristically, skipping along with his taller companion. "Aww, c'mon, you know he's just teasing. He's really cute, and he's super duper nice to me! Total dreamboat."

"Dreamboat?" Ness looked back at him, letting go of his wrist. "Seriously?"

"Mhmm!" He grinned. "Come on, Ness, you halfta have a dreamboat too! Who is it? Is it Nana?"

Ness grimaced. "What? No. Nana's too high-maintenance for me."

"_Suuure_."

"Shut up."

As they traversed the hallway, a short little man tottered on by, followed by a legion of tiny little Pikmin of varying colors. His glass helmet shined in the fluorescent light coming from the bulbs on the ceiling. It was Olimar, the mysterious spaceman. It amused Lucas to no end that someone like Olimar, who had to be at least twenty years old, was shorter than them by almost half a foot. The blonde waved at him as he walked by, and Olimar saluted them both with the tiniest of smiles before toddling past them.

Ness' eyes were trained on him the entire time, discreetly and yet pretty obviously. Lucas noticed this and paused, causing the dark-haired boy to in turn halt and look back at him with a cocked eyebrow. The blonde's expression was blank for a second before his face broke into a wide grin and he pointed at Ness. "You _liiike_ him!"

Ness' face immediately went red. "H-huh? What are you talking about? I don't even—"

"Don't lie! I saw you making eyes at him," Lucas winked, skipping back up to his side. "It's okay though! I support your secret love one hundred percent!"

"Sh-shut up!" Ness elbowed him hard, causing him to wince a bit, but the dumb smile never left his face. "Besides, there's no way he'd be interested in me anyway."

"And he admits it!" Lucas laughed. "You never know until you try, though! Same thing happened with me and Ike."

Ness sighed, shaking his head. "But...Olimar's a guy. And so am I."

Lucas' eyes narrowed. "And what's wrong with that?" he cut in fiercely, his tone sharp and defensive.

Ness held his hands up, unnerved by the sudden demeanor switch. "Nothing, nothing, just...I'm not sure he'd be okay with something like that, y'know? We barely know each other, anyway..."

"Well, if you don't hook up yourselves, I'll do it for you!" Lucas decided, pushing past him and heading for the stairs.

Ness facepalmed. "Hell no, Lucas, we don't need another matchmaker," he protested as he caught up with his buddy, ascending the stairs two at a time.

Up two more flights, they found themselves on the dorm floor once again. The ladies dorms were nearest the staircase, so it took a mere few strides to place themselves in front of the door, Ness taking initiative and rapping his fist on the dark wood. _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._

They waited a few seconds before the door opened, revealing Samus in nothing but her Zero suit. She looked down at them with an almost bored expression. "Yes?"

"Is Peach here?" Ness asked her. "We need to ask her a favor."

Samus stepped to the side, beckoning them inside. The two filed in past her, observing the room curiously. It wasn't all pink and girly, like one would expect. It looked exactly like theirs, just minus the various posters of Ness' and with a few decorative things like pictures and vases of flowers. There were two couches sitting around a T.V. mounted on the wall, and it was on one of these couches that Peach sat, painting her nails. When she saw the duo enter through her peripheral vision, she looked up and smiled at them, pleasant as ever. "Oh, Ness, Lucas. What brings you two here?"

Ness ditched pleasantries, getting right to the point. "We need you to try and get this stain out of Lucas' shirt," he said, grabbing said boy's shirt and holding it out to her, showing off the dark red patch.

Peach blew on her nails before standing up, walking over to them and examining the problem closely. "Oh dear! What, is this blood?" she asked, her tone worried.

Lucas actually laughed. "Oh, no, Peach. It's just ketchup."

"Oh, thank goodness," she giggled herself, straightening up. "Well, I'm not sure if I can get it out...it looks like there was a lot of it that dried in," she thought aloud, tapping her chin with the tips of freshly-painted nails.

Lucas' face fell so much it was almost comical. "Wait, so my shirt really is..._ruined_...?" he trailed off, tears already forming in his eyes. Ness frantically motioned to Peach from behind him, begging that she do something before he broke down again.

Peach was shocked by such a severe reaction from the blonde, but nevertheless patted him on the back soothingly. "Oh, Lucas! I never said it was impossible!" she revoked her words, replacing them with careful ones. "It may take a while, but I'm sure I can get it done eventually! Just leave it to me."

And just like that, Lucas' expression was happy-go-lucky once more. "Really? That's totally _awesome_! Thanks so much, Peach!" he sang, hugging her around the middle just like he did Ike.

Peach laughed, though she gave Ness a questioning glance, one that he answered with an exasperated shrug. "It's no problem, sweetie," she assured him, ruffling his hair just a bit. "You can leave the shirt with me, and I'll take care of it."

Lucas nodded happily. "Kay!" he exclaimed before shrugging out of the shirt quickly and holding it out. When Peach took it from him, though, his expression blanked for a few seconds. He observed his surroundings with an air of confusion. Turning to Ness, he scratched the back of his head. "Why are we in the girls' room?"

Ness gave him a funny look. "To have her get rid of the stain on your shirt, remember?"

Lucas frowned. "What stain?"

"...the ketchup stain from breakfast, man, don't play stupid."

"We ate breakfast?"

Ness facepalmed for the second time that day. "My God...Lucas, just shut up."

"What? I seriously don't remember anything. What day is it?"

"Now you're just being an idiot."

Peach watched the two interact with an amused smile. "Anyway, I heard Ike was fighting this morning. Weren't you going to watch, Lucas?"

Lucas looked genuinely surprised. "Ike's fighting?"

Ness grabbed the blonde's wrist a little too tightly. "Yes, as a matter of fact, we were," he answered for him, dragging him away. "Bye, Peach."

Lucas was used to going along with whatever Ness had to say with very little knowledge of the plan, so he merely gave the fellow blonde a small wave. "Goodbye, Miss Peach."

She giggled and returned the gesture. "Bye, boys."

Once back in the hallway, Ness shot Lucas an annoyed look. "So are you happy now? Your precious shirt's gonna be just fine."

Lucas thought about this. "I guess so," he answered, not entirely sure what he was talking about.

"What do you mean, _I guess so_?" Ness retorted, internally raging. "You were so hell-bent on it before!"

Lucas shrugged. "Like I said, I don't remember anything. What did we do?"

The two made quick work of jumping down the stairs to the second floor, where the match teleports were. "Whatever. Even if you really don't remember, I'm not in the mood to explain it." They entered a broad room with many various portals to different places. The only active one was labeled 'Smashville: Audience', and it was this one they walked towards.

Lucas suddenly noticed something. "Wait, hold on. I'm not wearing a shirt..." he said, glancing down at his bare torso.

Ness snorted. "I'm sure Ike won't care much," he said, stepping through the portal.

Lucas blinked a few times before shrugging and stepping through the portal himself. With a bright glimmer of light and a sharp SHWOO sound, he was gone.

—**e—n—d—c—h—a—p—t—e—r—**

_**A/N: I just love my sound effects. SHWOO, seriously? I'm such an idiot. :B**_

So Purple!Lucas is bipolar. And a bit girly. Hopefully you found this chapter mildly entertaining. Next up: Red!Lucas. Can you guess what his personality will be like? Lol.

And yes, the NessxOlimar is serious business.

So, thoughts? Leave a review telling me whatcha liked, didn't like, things I can improve on, etc. etc. Thanks in advance!

Until next time~. C:


	2. Red and Darker Red Stripes

_**A/N: I just realized I forgot to put violence in as a warning in the last chapter, so...yeah. Though Smash Bros. IS a fighting game and all, so I doubt that turns anyone off, but y'know. Heads up. Also some pretty foul language herein. Just saiyan.**_

DISCLAIMER: SAKURAI. NAHT ME.

—**s—t—a—r—t—c**—**h**—**a**—**p**—**t—e**—**r**—

Lucas stood up and stretched his body out, still feeling stiff from his sleep. After a few seconds of that, the blonde directed his bleary gaze upwards, to see if his dark-haired companion had begun to stir yet or not. To his surprise, however, he wasn't even there.

Scratching the back of his head in mild confusion, he glanced at the clock. 10:27.

_What?_

Lucas was suddenly fully awake, rushing into the bathroom as fast as his legs could carry him._ How is it already so late? Why didn't Ness wake me up?_ Oh, he would get Ness back somehow. If this made him miss an unofficial 'fun' match oh so help him _God_ he would punch him in the face. Pulling the nearest pair of shorts on, disregarding the fact that they were probably Ness', he threw the closet door open and grabbed the first shirt his hands touched; a two-tone red shirt. Pulling it on, his expression went blank for a moment when it covered him completely. Then, his face morphed into an intense scowl, a very foreign expression on the blonde's face. Completely ignoring his hair for the first time in...well, ever, he sauntered out of the bathroom and exited the dorm, slamming the door on his way out.

On the first floor, he spotted his roommate looking at the big electronic screen that displayed all the scheduled brawls, hands on his hips and frowning. Lucas fought the urge to charge him like a bull and approached him rather calmly. When Ness noticed him, he waved a hand in greeting and smiled a bit. "Hey man, how'd you—"

He was cut off by Lucas' fist snatching the front of his shirt and jerking him forward, the blonde scowling down at him. "_You_," he growled, looking thoroughly pissed off, much more so than Ness had ever seen. Ever. "Why the _hell_ didn't you wake me up this morning?"

Ness was too shocked by his actions to struggle. "Dude, I thought maybe some extra sleep would do you good," he justified, meeting Lucas' furious blue eyes with his own wide violet colored irises.

Lucas scoffed. "That's too thoughtful to be the truth," he spat, tightening his grip. "What would you have done if I'd missed a match? If I did, you better run, lest you lose a valuable limb."

Ness frowned back at him. "Don't you think I'm a little smarter than that? Your match doesn't start 'till eleven. I was just about to go and wake you up."

"I'm sure." But Lucas let him go, now more interested in the alleged forthcoming match than in the dark-haired boy. Ness straightened out his shirt, still wary of such an uncharacteristically nasty mood that Lucas was in. He was shoved none too lightly away by an impatient arm, and Lucas scanned the screen idly.

"A team stock battle, Snake and I on one team and Wolf and Samus on the other, bumpers only?" Lucas read aloud, not looking too happy with it. "That's pretty lame."

Ness rolled his eyes. "Well, how bad can it be with Snake on your team?"

"I bet I could take all three," Lucas replied, flexing his fingers.

Ness scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Lucas suddenly turned on him, and Ness felt unusually small with his fierce gaze on him. "What, you don't think so?"

"Hey, Ness, Lucas," a voice called from behind the two, walking toward them. A turn of the head by both revealed it was Ike, accompanied by Toon Link. "Good morning."

Lucas' expression softened only a fraction at the sight of Ike. "Morning."

Ness thanked the divine forces residing above for distracting the pissy blonde. "Hey guys."

"We were wondering if Lucas was up," Toon Link said, waving a hand to beckon them over. "Since you missed breakfast, Ike and I had Kirby let us into the kitchen to make an omelet. Want it?"

Lucas shot an accusing look at Ness, one that said _this is your fault, ass,_ before nodding to the petite swordsman. "Yeah."

Ike blinked, noticing right away the absence of a thanks and the dirty look sent Ness' way. "Well, let's go then," he suggested, successfully getting Lucas to follow them to the cafeteria. "You can come too, Ness."

Ness deadpanned. "Thanks, but I think I'll pass," he declined, wanting no more of this douche-y Lucas and his overreactive anger. Joining Red and Popo in the rec room sounded like a much more pleasant option. "I'll see you guys later."

"Alright. Bye," Ike responded, more or less understanding that decision, and walked down the hall with two blondes in tow.

Meanwhile, further down the hall, a floating hand watched the event unfold before him, fingers wildly waving around. The way he was floating, one might've thought he was up to no good, but there was no telling what Crazy Hand was thinking or doing. He stayed there for a moment, observing the trio walk off from afar. "Hmm. Lucas is wearing red today..." he spoke aloud to himself, much like he usually did. Then, he suddenly snapped his fingers in realization. Turning around quickly, he darted off in the direction of the administration office, where his cousin, Master Hand, headed the entire Smash Brothers organization. "Master Hand, Master Haaaand! I have a suggestion to maaake!"

_-asdfjkl;-_

Lucas cracked his knuckles idly, leaning on the wall next to the challenger portals as he waited for the eleven o'clock match to begin. Snake stood next to him, getting one last cigarette in before he'd have to fight. Wolf and Samus stood on the other side of the portal, looking just as unamused.

Snake's cigarette made a small fizzling noise as the mercenary smushed it into the ashtray next to him and discarded it. "Watch out for Samus' Charge Shot," he warned the boy besides him. "Use your PSI Magnet to absorb it if she shoots at you."

"I know how to fight Samus," Lucas replied coldly, kicking off the wall and looking up at Snake with a bored look. "You just lay off the grenades, 'cause Wolf will just reflect them."

Snake arched an eyebrow at the kid's unusual harsh tone, but said nothing else as they continued to wait.

Wolf taunted at the blonde, obviously confident about the coming brawl. "What's the matter, scared?" he laughed, waving a set of claws his way haphazardly. "I'm going to wipe the floor with you, boy."

Lucas looked unaffected. "We'll see," he stated simply, earning a half-second of hesitation on the gray wolf's part.

**ATTENTION: ALL SMASHERS ASSIGNED TO THE ELEVEN O'CLOCK MATCH, PLEASE ENTER NOW.**

Wolf paused when Lucas approached; after Samus stepped through, he sneered at him. "Ladies first."

Lucas rolled his eyes at such a lame taunt as he stepped into the shimmering oval himself.

Since the stage had been listed as random, no one had any idea of what stage they would be duking it out on until one by one they all appeared, Lucas and Wolf on the bottom level and Snake and Samus on the upper levels. Behind them, a war seemed to rage, fiery balls flying every which way and banners flying in the air. The crowd cheered as they appeared, thousands of generic people waving and clapping their hands in excitement. A quick glance to the side told them that there were quite few Smashers watching as well; nearly twenty.

Snake grunted. "Castle Siege, huh?"

"Prepare to meet your maker, twerp!" Wolf called out, obviously referring to Lucas. The blonde did not respond. He might've had some major anger issues today, but Wolf's attempts to throw him off were just sad.

**THREE.**

Snake checked his guns one last time, just to be on the safe side. Samus watched him like a hawk.

**TWO.**

Wolf howled into the air, hopping from foot to foot in anticipation.

**ONE.**

Lucas flexed his fingers, adrenaline beginning to pump through his veins.

**...GO!**

Wolf charged the small blonde, going in with a quick lunge to the stomach. This hit Lucas, who stumbled back, flinching but otherwise not too terribly hurt. The bipedal animal grinned as Lucas kept his distance for a minute to regain his composure, firing a few shots from his blaster. The boy brought up a PSI Magnet to absorb these and heal himself a bit before charging back in at him, yelling, "PK Fire!"

The bolt exploded upon impact, the pillar of fire sending Wolf back a bit. Lucas used the knockback to his advantage, dashing up and hitting him with a chunk of PSI energy from his left hand. He managed to get in a quick jab combo too, leaving the animal frustrated and glaring on the other side of the stage.

Wolf began utilizing his speedy moves, getting in close to the blonde before slashing at him with sharp claws. Lucas took these hits, seeing past them to an opportunity. When Wolf hesitated after a string of jabs, Lucas socked him in the face, effectively pushing him back. He then gave him a quick PSI-powered slap and sent him flying off the stage with a smash from his stick. Wolf made to recover, but before he could do so, Lucas leaped off stage (earning a gasp from the audience) and used a meteor smash to KO him. Roughly half crowd began to cheer.

Lucas wiped at his brow, a cunning smile on his face. He had taken some damage, yeah, but Wolf was already down a stock. This match was theirs.

The gray canine reappeared on the blue platform above the stage with a look of rage on his face. "Oh hell no you did _not_!" he exclaimed furiously, unwilling to believe Lucas had just bested him almost perfectly in one-on-one combat. Lucas said nothing, merely staring up at him, daring him to move.

Wolf did so. Off the platform he came, right down to Lucas. The blonde jumped up to the platform above, where Samus was charging her Charge Shot. Wolf of course followed him, and Lucas again jumped across to the other platform, where Snake readied some grenades. Knowing Wolf's invincibility would wear off in a few seconds, Lucas unleashed another PSI-based attack. "PK Freeze!"

The blue snowflake increased in size and speed until it surrounded both bounty hunter and pilot. Wolf was convinced his invulnerability was still there and Samus was preoccupied with her Charge Shot, so when Lucas unleashed his energy, both were encased in thick sheets of ice, unable to move.

Lucas jumped down and sprinted across to underneath them, where he charged up energy once more. Snake threw his grenades and jumped over to land a kick on the two. However, when Lucas' PK Love erupted up on them, Snake was also damaged and thrown into the air along with the other two as the grenades exploded.

The mercenary landed on the other platform once more, eyes wide. "Hold on. You just hit me?"

Lucas growled. "Team Attack must be on."

Wolf looked nonplussed. "Why the hell would anyone do that?"

Lucas took the opportunity to hit him with another PK Fire. "Don't know, don't really care. You're going to be crushed either way."

Wolf yelled loudly, looking enraged as ever. "Damn it all! Since when are you such a smart ass?" he spoke as claws flashed dangerously in front of him. Lucas did not answer, instead landing two punches and shooting pastel-colored PSI polygons at his feet, knocking him away.

When Snake and Samus dropped to the first level, Lucas noticed the stage switch. They were surrounded by whirling hues of gray on all sides, the effect almost dizzying. Wolf used this to his advantage, striking the blonde once, twice, three times while he wasn't looking. Lucas swiveled around with narrowed eyes, watching him jump up in an attempt to hit him from above. The boy jumped up too, meeting him in the air and twisting his body around, releasing dozens of pentagonal PSI charges on the animal. He fell back to the ground, where a smack from his twig and a drop kick kept him at bay. Lucas heard a weird sound; a kind of silent explosion, almost, the sound that alerts you of someone's KO. Looking back, he saw Snake in the process of standing back up. That meant that everyone had now lost a stock, Lucas being the only exception.

The stage was suddenly back to normal once again, the foursome now inside a castle somewhere, with a couple statues and roughly fabricated platforms above them. It was also rather dimly lit, and while Lucas was adjusting to the lighting, Wolf came up from behind and grabbed him, pummeling him a few times before sending him skyward. Lucas, as of right now not one to be outdone, regained composure in the sky and gave Wolf a sharp kick in the head on the way down. A quickly-released PK Love managed to KO him yet again. The crown began to cheer again as he called out, "PK Thunder!" to help rack up Samus' damage as she and Snake tussled.

When he reappeared, Wolf, for once, did not use words to convey his anger. Instead, he utilized his invulnerability, dashing up to Lucas and charging up a kick that, upon contact, sent the blonde high into the air. He jumped up and hit him again, the boy's body launched even further. Before Wolf could smack him a third time, Lucas willed himself to fall away, in the other direction. What he hadn't noticed was Snake's charging bazooka. Samus made the mistake of grabbing the blonde, holding him in place as Snake had no choice but to unleash the blow. Lucas struggled furiously. "No—!"

_KFFWOOM._

Lucas cursed the man as he flew into the stage's boundary, grunting loudly as he was deemed KO'd. Though Samus had been knocked out as well, Lucas swore revenge. He had been going for a perfect match!

Reappearing on the recovery platform, Lucas witnessed Wolf successfully knock Snake offstage and throw a well-aimed bumper at him, bouncing him into oblivion. He then turned and smiled cheekily at the boy, who grimaced in response. Like he'd care if Snake got KO'd. Jumping into the air, Lucas yelled once again. "PK Thunder!" The blue bolt of electricity swiveled and hit him in the backside, sending him spiraling toward Wolf at an intense velocity. He was caught in the vortex and took quite a bit of damage, knocked back a fair amount. Lucas dodged Samus' missile and kicked Wolf again, though the animal recovered afterward and shot him twice in the chest with his blaster. Snake came into the fray once more and hurled a grenade at them, a projectile which Wolf reflected with ease. While he did that, though, Lucas took the chance to get a hit in on him superbly, rearing back and toppling him over with the force of his stick swing. Wolf dodged the followup PSI smack and slashed at Lucas, combo-ing successfully.

The boy grunted and rolled back, herding him in next to Samus once again. He struck both with a swift PK Fire and got a couple hits on Samus before Snake triggered an explosive he'd planted in the spot sometime prior that hit all three. Lucas cursed. How many times did he plan to do that—damage him as well as the enemies? Oh, he was _so_ getting it.

A bumper appeared in the air next to him where he had been launched. Grabbing it, Lucas hurled it at Samus, who was sent flying but managed to recover before she went too far, to his disdain. Wolf shot Snake twice before kicking him up into the air. Lucas took a chance and initiated another PK Freeze, apparently catching Wolf off guard when he released it. He was frozen yet again, and Lucas wasted no time in sprinting up and charging a PK Love next to him. As the casing broke, the boy let it go, and Wolf was sent dangerously close to the boundary. He tried to run past Lucas to safety, but the blonde used his handy Rope Snake to pull him back and throw him toward said boundary, where he howled as he was KO'd for the final time. Lucas grinned malevolently at the cheers he got as a result.

Spotting Samus and Snake locked in close, one-on-one combat, he saw yet another golden opportunity. He stole over to them, pulling his arms back as he focused on his next attack. Samus didn't know what hit her; she would lose in a flurry of light and sparkles as she was flung offstage by Lucas' deadly stick. As the stage began the transition to it's final form, Snake seemed to think the fight was over. But before the announcer could call game, Lucas smacked Snake too, and both Samus and the mercenary ended up crossing the boundary line at the same time. The crowd gasped at what had just happened.

**GAME!  
**  
Lucas was the only one left standing, smirking at himself. And that was what happened when you knocked Lucas out due to friendly fire, accidental or not.

**THE WINNER IS...RED TEAM!**

_-asdfjkl;-_

"...I seriously cannot believe he did that!"

It had been Nana who had spoken. The smashers who had been watching the match were gathered out in the hallway, right outside the portal room. Everyone was shocked about not only the Team Attack, which was usually disabled during the just-for-fun matches, but over Lucas' ballsy and deliberate KO on Snake, just for the hell of it.

Toon Link rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, tell me about it. Never thought I'd see Lucas act like that."

"Me neither," Ness agreed. Though he'd seemed to have been in a bad and asshole-ish mood earlier (which was putting it lightly), the raven-haired boy would never have imagined Lucas doing something like that, not even in his wilder dreams.

The chatter stopped when bodies exited the portal room, and they all knew who was yelling before they'd even stepped out into sight.

"Just what the hell was that anyway, blondie?" Wolf raged, sauntering up behind Lucas, who was walking nonchalantly away, hands in his pockets. Samus and Snake each followed behind them, though they looked exasperated due to Wolf's demeanor.

The boy stopped. "Oh, that back there?" Lucas asked rhetorically. "That was me kicking your ass."

A few Smashers _ooh'd_. _That_ wasn't going to go over well.

"Ass kicking? Please. You lost a stock."

"You lost to a pussy with two stocks left, Wolf."

Another set of _ooh's_.

"I was just going easy on you, stupid cunt."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Shut the fuck up."

Lucas sighed and resumed walking. "Is that _really_ the best you can do? Curse at me? Well, I suppose it is. Your parents were mangy mutts, after all."

Wolf sneered. "Maybe, but at least my mother isn't a whore."

Lucas froze.

All eyes were trained on Lucas, eagerly awaiting his next move. He turned slowly, his eyes wide and his expression dangerous. "What was that about my mother?"

"You heard me."

Lucas faced him fully now. "I suggest you close your goddamn mouth before I _rip it from your face_."

Wolf grinned evilly and stepped closer to the blonde, nearly yelled the next insult. "Your mother is a filthy whore and the world's better off without that stupid waste of flesh."

Lucas started forward, face twisted with unearthed anger. "One more fucking word and _you'll_ be the next to die! You don't know anything about my mom, you bastard!"

The crowd was silent, all horrified at such language from the usually innocent boy as well as the insinuation that his mother really was dead.

"Maybe not, but if she gave birth to you, the bitch is better off dead."

Wolf was subsequently punched in the face by a grossly enraged teen, and sent stumbling backwards. Everyone gasped; fighting that wasn't in a brawl was strictly forbidden, and since Lucas had initiated it, he could be in deep trouble. But that consequence was the last thing on his mind as Lucas sent a foot into the animal's ribcage, causing him to grunt and making a sickening crunch sound. He took great satisfaction from the sound of the other's suffering.

The boy pinned him to the adjacent wall, punching him repeatedly in the face. "You—will not—talk shit—about my—fucking mother!" he cried furiously, pausing as the fist made contact with him each time. Those watching were stunned at Lucas' finesse in such a situation. The boy didn't let up when Wolf began to struggle against his hold, literally wishing for the animal in his grasp to die.

Wolf eventually managed to buck Lucas off and fling him away, swiping at him. Lucas dodged the first try, but the followup caught him in the side, claws burying in his side and causing him to yelp. Wolf smashed him into the wall and reared back, preparing his next attack for only a split-second before he slashed with his built-in weaponry. Lucas screamed as the claws trailed from his neck to his stomach, creating a long column of four semi-deep gashes and successfully shredding the boy's shirt.

Ike, a moment ago frozen in horror and awe, couldn't take it anymore. He jumped out toward them, seizing Wolf by the back of his suit. "Stop it!" he commanded. "That's enough!"

But Wolf wouldn't be deterred. He pulled out of Ike's grip and advanced on the blonde again. "Let your faggy boyfriend face the consequences of his actions," he said as he kicked the boy, making him squeak and fall to his knees.

During the time Ike had tried to stop the gray wolf, Lucas' expression had gone from deadly and irate to scared shitless. He put his arms over his head and wailed. "Agh! I'm sorry! _I'm sorry!_ Whatever I did, I'm sorry! Please, _no more!_"

As Wolf scoffed and went to kick again, Ness screamed. "No, seriously! Stop it now!" Other Smashers, namely Fox and Mario, had jumped to Lucas' aid as well, pulling Wolf back and away from the shaking boy.

"Wolf, _quit it!_" Fox reprimanded, jerking him away roughly. "Stop being a sore loser and leave him the hell alone."

"He fucking started it!" Wolf growled, trying to pull away.

"No, it was-a you who started it," Mario held him back, pulling him away at the same time. "Insulting the mama is a bad idea."

Meanwhile, everyone else had crowded around Lucas, to inspect the damage done. Peach, Ike and Ness were closest, talking to him.

"_Oh_, honey, are you okay?" Peach worried, hovering over him like a bee.

"Lucas, talk to me," Ike urged, placing a hand on his shivering shoulders.

The blonde took his arms away from his head, revealing a tear-streaked and traumatized face. "I-I don't even know what I did! I d-don't remember anything, I just open m-my eyes and he's kicking me in th-the stomach, and I have this h-huge cut and bruises a-and..." he trailed off, apparently put off by the sight of his own blood seeping out of said gash on his front, shirt laying ripped on the floor beside him. "It h-hurts."

"Hey, hey, hey," a voice suddenly boomed from across the hallway. All heads turned, and it was revealed to be Master Hand who spoke, floating towards them in a huff. "What is going on here?"

Everyone was silent for a moment before Nana spoke up. "There was a fight, sir."

Master Hand didn't seem surprised, but as a hand is unable to show emotion, there was no way of knowing for sure. "Between who?" he asked.

"...Wolf and Lucas."

Now that seemed to take him aback, as the fingers that had been just floating freely abruptly froze in place. "Lucas? Seriously?" Apparently he subsequently caught sight of the battered blonde cowering on the wall as well as Wolf's matted fur and black eyes. "...huh. Never would I have thought Lucas to be the fighting type..." he observed, and if hands were capable of sighing, he probably would have done so here. "Well, I suppose it can't be helped. Ike, take Lucas to the infirmary. Wolf, you'll go in a minute. I'll have to decide on appropriate punishments as well, but that can wait. Now, all except Fox, Mario, Pit and Captain Falcon, be on your way."

As everyone shuffled down the hall obediently, Ike pulled Lucas into his arms and lifted him bridal-style, carrying him with ease down the other side of the hall towards their clinic area. Lucas squirmed a bit, face turning red and apologetic. "Ike, you're getting b-blood all over your clothes. And I can still w-walk, you know."

Ike didn't look down. "I don't mind," he stated bluntly as he approached the infirmary's entrance. "Besides, if I get an excuse to hold you, you can bet every strand of your blonde hair that I'll take it."

Lucas flushed at the bluenette's words as they entered the clinic.

—**e**—**n**—**d**—**c**—**h**—**a**—**p**—**t**—**e**—**r** —

_**A/N: Two-parter! Woah. Didn't think it would take more than 4k words, but I guess that means I can shove more detail into the next one, huh?**_

So Red!Lucas is quick-tempered and kind of an asshole. So OOC it isn't even funny, but there you go. Oh, also...were the fighting scenes (mainly the actual brawl) any good? It was my first, so I'd appreciate any and all feedback so I can improve and stuff. :3

So, five stars? Three? Zero? Leave a review telling me whatcha liked, didn't like, things I can improve on, etc. etc. Thanks in advance~.

Peace. C:


	3. Yellow and Teal Stripes, with Red Hair?

_**A/N: Just letting you know right now, mild Ike/Lucas in this chapter. Tee hee.**_

DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything...seriously, I don't. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I'M SERIOUS.

—**s—t—a—r—t—c**—**h**—**a**—**p**—**t—e**—**r**—

Ness entered the room quietly so as to not disturb those that happened to be there.

There wasn't really a need to be so careful, however. The infirmary was completely empty save for two people: Lucas and Ike. The blonde lay in one of the beds to the right, covered up to the stomach with a thin blue blanket, the end of which his feet poked out of. He was laying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Ike sat beside him in a chair, holding a newspaper in his right hand and a pencil in his left. He looked to be thinking for a moment.

"Six letter word, something green usually associated with hamburgers or sandwiches," Ike read aloud for Lucas to hear.

Lucas frowned in thought for a moment. Then, he nodded to himself and spouted off the answer. "Pickle."

Ike made a little sound of realization as he scribbled the word down. "Oh, good one. And it fits. You're a pro at this."

Ness walked towards them, amused at what activities the two partook in whilst alone. "Lucas would know all about pickles."

Lucas' face turned red. "N-Ness!" he stammered, fiddling with his thumbs.

Ike looked up at the raven-haired boy. "So he would."

Lucas buried his face in his hands. "_Ike_!"

Ness' smile suddenly disappeared. "Wait, you two have actually—"

"_I am not having this conversation_!" Lucas blurted, effectively cutting him off. Ike and Ness laughed at him.

"Okay, okay. So how did the operation go?" Ness asked, coming up to the other side of Lucas' bed.

Lucas shrugged. "It wasn't an operation, really. They just sewed me up, see?" He pointed down to his torso, which had a very long gash from the lower stomach to his collar bone covered in small stitches. "It took a while, almost two and a half hours, but they said it should heal without much scarring. The only downside is, it kinda hurts—_owwch_!"

Ness had just poked the blonde's stitches, curious as to how they felt. He pulled back quickly when he'd cried out, laughing sheepishly. "Ah, sorry."

"It's okay," he said, regaining his composure. "But do it again and I'll sick Ike on you."

"Ragnell and all," Ike added casually, still pouring over his crossword puzzle.

"I'm terrified," Ness scoffed.

"Oh!" Lucas exclaimed. "I don't know why that reminds me, but did you bring me clothes?"

"Yes. That's the only reason I came, dork," Ness replied, taking his tan backpack off his back and opening it up. "I don't fancy seeing you and Ike suck face all day."

Now it was Ike's turn to scoff. "Really?" he looked up, cold blue eyes amused. "A relationship doesn't have to entail sexual foreplay all the time. We're not allowed to simply hang out because we've been dubbed a couple?"

Ness frowned at him, hands rummaging around in his sack. "Chill out, dude, I was kidding. Now that I think about it, I've never even seen you two kiss before."

The bluenette turned his attention back to the paper before him. "Lucas won't let me kiss him in public."

Lucas flushed. "It's not proper!"

"And yet if one of us was a girl it'd suddenly be okay," Ike countered with a sigh. "Seriously, Lucas, it's not like we're the only same sex couple around here."

Lucas just shook his head, face still red. "Why are we even talking about it? Clothes, please," he held out his hands expectantly.

"Alright, alright," the raven-haired teen pulled the articles of clothing from his bag as he replied. There was a pair of denim shorts (go figure) and a yellow and teal striped t-shirt in his grasp as he set them in Lucas' hands. "There. Happy?"

Lucas just stared at the shirt with an unreadable expression. "Y-yeah," he said a few moments later, smiling weakly up at Ness. "Thanks."

Ness, oblivious to such small details, slung the backpack back on his shoulders and nodded back with a grin of his own. "Anytime. I'm going to the training room, catch you guys later."

"Take all the time you need," Ike called after the boy as he left, reaching over to help Lucas pull his shirt on.

"Oh, shut up." Ness opened and mock-slammed the door behind him, rolling his eyes. That Ike. Who needed him? He had to prepare for the match he had on Tuesday, a deciding brawl for him as it dictated whether he would stay in or fall out of the competition. With this thought in mind, the boy power-walked down the hall, cracking his knuckles as he went.

_-asdfjkl;-_

"You mean he isn't with you?"

Ness walked past Ike and down the hall, seeking out his friend. He had an important message to pass on. The blue-haired mercenary he'd just run into followed closely behind.

"No, Marth and I decided to spar for a bit, and he said he had to see Peach for a minute," Ike answered. "He was acting kind of...weird."

Ness snorted. "Yeah, well, what's new?"

The two continued until they neared the rec room, where one could hear voices buzzing in near unison with each other. Looking at one another for a moment, they proceeded inside, peering around for signs of their blonde companion.

What they found was not blonde.

There were quite a few Smashers gathered around the pool table, watching in awe as a boy in a yellow and teal striped shirt gracefully knocked the eight ball into the far left pocket, successfully winning the game. Red cursed out loud and scratched the back of his head. Upon closer inspection it seemed that he'd lost by a fair amount; he still had five balls left on the table. But the boy said "Good game," so Red returned the favor, and everyone who'd been watching started to clap for him.

But the boy's hair was red. So red it was almost _orange_.

Ness' jaw had long since dropped. "L-Lucas?" he gasped, unable to look away from the boy's new hair color. Ike also looked surprised at the sudden change.

The boy turned around, and one could see that it was indeed Lucas, but there was something...different about him. The way he held himself, maybe? He seemed very confident and laid-back, a far cry from his usually humbly shy and uptight self. He grinned at them very boyishly, which was also foreign to them, who were so used to the fleeting and shy smiles from before. "Oh, hey guys. You just missed me kick Red's ass at pool!" he laughed as said boy stuck his tongue out at the now-redhead. "So how'd the spar with Marth go? You won, right?"

Ike blinked a couple of times. "No, we...it was a draw. Lucas..."

"...what the _hell_ did you do to your hair?" Ness finished for him, showing far less tact than the taller mercenary.

Lucas laughed. "I dyed it, of course. Remember when I said I needed to see Peach? That's why. It looks a lot better now, dontcha think? It's my favorite color."

The two gave each other dubious looks. "I thought your favorite color was blue," Ike raised an eyebrow at him, watching as most everyone who had gathered now headed their separate ways.

Lucas' expression turned confused. "Huh? No way. Orange is so much cooler."

A gloved finger tapped the boy on the shoulder. Lucas turned his head slightly to find Popo and Nana standing beside him, looking determined and charmed, respectively. "Lucas!" Popo said loudly. "I wanna play you next! I'm gonna win!"

Lucas frowned. "But Red's the best of all of us at pool. What makes you think you can beat me if he can't?"

"I've been practicing, and I'm sure I'm way better than him now!" the blue ice climber exclaimed, puffing out his chest accordingly.

Nana rolled her eyes. "He's such an idiot. But you were really something just now," she commented, gazing at Lucas endearingly. "Since when did you get so cool?"

The pseudo-redhead chuckled, smirking. "What do you mean, since when? I was born this cool, baby." He then turned his attention back to Popo. "Alright, you wanna take a beast such as myself on? Bring it on!"

Nana giggled despite herself as Popo fist pumped. "Yeah, let's go!"

Ness interjected, holding his arms out. "Wait, wait, hold on," he shook his head. "I came here to tell Lucas that Master Hand wants to see him. Like, now."

Lucas brought a hand to the back of his neck. "What for?"

"Probably because of that fight with Wolf, huh?" Nana reminisced, looking up at nothing. "That was pretty daring."

"I fought Wolf?" Lucas asked, genuinely clueless. "Oh, wait, yeah, I guess I did. I still don't remember why, though. Oh well." Lucas shrugged. "Guess that game of pool'll have to wait, Popo. Ike, come with me. I have a feeling Crazy Hand's gonna be there and he freaks me out." The bl—er, redhead grabbed his boyfriend's hand as he walked past them, dragging him out with him and shocking bluenette, Ness and the ice climbers alike. Lucas usually avoided most public displays of affection like the plague. Then again, it wasn't all that surprising...he'd been very out of character for days now. Maybe he was sick? In the head? "And by the way, Ness," he called behind him. "I set you up on a blind date, tonight at seven o'clock sharp!"

"_What_? Tonight? Wait a minute!" the addressed boy was taken aback by the sudden plan, but the two were already down the hall, paying him little mind. He sighed. "Blind date? With who?"

Nana giggled. "I know, but I'm not allowed to tell."

Ness grabbed the pink ice climber by the shoulders and shook her. "Nana! _Tell me!_ It's not someone _bad_, is it? Oh God, is it Jigglypuff? No, no...is it you? _Eucch_!"

Nana suddenly got all up in his face. "What, are you saying you're _disgusted_ at the thought of a date with me?"

"Well, yes."

Nana slapped him in the face, only half-jokingly.

Ness cried out, holding his cheek, which was turning pink. "_Ow_! Hey! That actually hurt!"

Popo waggled a finger in his face. "Don't call my sister ugly!"

"I never said she was ugly, I said I wouldn't wanna date her!"

"That's the _same thing_, moron!"

"No it isn't!"

Toon Link looked behind himself from where he was on the sofa, watching T.V. with Red with an aggravated expression. "Hey, shut up! We're trying to watch a movie!"

Nana whirled around. "Toon Link! Would you date me?"

Toon Link looked completely taken aback. "Uh...no?"

Nana put her face in her hands, wailing. "Ugh, why doesn't anyone find me _attractive_?"

Toon Link shrugged. "Nothing against you personally. I'm gay."

She wailed even more. "First Marth and Link, then Lucas and Ike, and now _you_? Jesus, are there _any_ straight men here?" When Popo began to speak, she cut him off. "I can't date you, you don't count! Red! Would you date me?"

Red looked over and chuckled. Toon Link grabbed his arm. "No, he's gay too."

Ness, Popo and Nana stared at them. "Wait...you two are...?" Popo and Ness began, eyes widening as they put the pieces together in their minds. "_For how long_?" they both asked in semi-shocked unison.

Toon Link looked at Red. "Oh, I dunno. Couple months?"

Red nodded. "Something like that."

Popo and Ness both crossed their respective arms and nodded in understanding as Nana shouted to the ceiling. "Fine! You all can have your homosexual fun! One day I'll meet a man who loves me, I swear it!" she proclaimed with a gloved finger in the air. "I just gotta find him first!"

...Meanwhile, Lucas and Ike entered Master Hand's office rather nonchalantly, Lucas plopping himself down on the seat in front of the floating appendage's desk. "Master Hand," he called, "Lucas is here~." Ike smiled a little at his back, leaning on the wall behind the redhead.

A few seconds ticked by before Master Hand actually came out of the adjacent room. "Lucas? Oh, right. You're seated already? Good," he spoke (somehow...how a floating hand could speak was way beyond them), making his way behind his desk and facing the two finger-first. "I wanted to speak to you about your punishment, for that little quarrel the other day."

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, I kinda figured. But I was wondering...do you know why we fought? 'Cause for some weird reason, I can't remember."

Ike's usually somber face lit up. "Oh, that's right. I never did explain it, did I?" he suddenly remembered, arms uncrossing slightly.

Master Hand held up his...hand. "Allow me," he shot Ike down, the bluenette sinking back against the wall. "That's quite strange, but I don't mind telling the story; I'd like confirmation from Ike anyway. So, the way I heard it was like this. You and Wolf were apart of the eleven o'clock brawl. You won against him. He began speaking to you, and you spoke back. Eventually words got harsher and harsher until Wolf insulted your mother."

Lucas' eyes flashed and his fists clenched in their position on the chair's arms.

"You exchange a few more words before he does it again and you, Lucas, punch him in the face and pummel him into the wall. He eventually thrusts you into the wall and also punches a few times before giving you that," he pointed to Lucas' chest, on which the sewn up gash could be found under his shirt. "Though it was a shallow move on his part to take your mother's name in vain, it was you who made the first punch, Lucas. Therefore you are suspended from this season's tournament and your privileges outside the mansion are revoked until further notice—"

"Wait, hold on!" Ike blurted out, having pushed off the wall. "Isn't that a bit harsh for a first-time offender? He's been doing so well..." Ike was right about one thing; Lucas had been doing well in said tournament, placing ninth overall currently, which was a vast improvement over the last, in which he was finalized at twenty-seventh.

Master Hand's fingers clenched a few times, indicating he wasn't very happy about the interruption. "He is usually a very good boy, I will give you that. In any other circumstance I might let it slip. However, we are, as you know, very strict in our 'no fighting outside of tournament matches' policy. It clearly states in Article Three, Section Two, Line Four of the contract that every Smasher signed before coming aboard that if one began a physical fight of any sort outside of regulation, they would be suspended from the tournament and all non-mansion privileges for at least the duration of the season and then until the administrator, a.k.a me sees fit." His fingers became stationary. "It cannot be avoided."

Ike's face deadpanned as he leaned back against the wall almost helplessly. "..."

Lucas, who had been sitting silently as Master Hand spoke, now glance back at the mercenary. "It's alright, Ike. I'm a big boy, and I have to take responsibility for my actions," he smiled a bit before turning back around to face the floating hand in front of him once more. "But there is a question I'd like to ask, if you don't mind. What's Wolf's punishment?"

Master Hand chuckled, fingers flexing almost evilly. "Oh, he has to spend his evenings with Crazy Hand from this point forward, cleaning the bathrooms and Crazy Hand's room." The fingers shook slightly. "Trust me, that is quite a nasty punishment."

Lucas laughed. "Yeah, sounds like it might be," he agreed, secretly thrilled he hadn't been the one to receive that punishment instead. He didn't know what, but there was something very off-putting about Master Hand's younger, crazier relative.

Master Hand nodded itself a couple of times. "Indeed. Well, I think that was all I had to say. Good day Lucas, Ike," he said before floating back into the other room, leaving them alone.

Lucas chuckled once, scratching his cheek. "Master Hand doesn't really beat around the bush, does he?" he observed absently, standing up and walking to the other doorway, the one that led back out into the main hallway.

Ike followed him out. "He does like to get to the point, doesn't he?" he agreed as they walked. A few seconds later the mercenary sighed. "I'm sorry, Lucas."

At this, Lucas stopped and turned around to face his companion with an amused expression. "What for?" he asked, pocketing his hands. "Again, it sounds like all that was pretty much on me, anyway. Gotta be punished somehow, y'know? At least I don't get the Crazy Hand treatment." He paused, looking away for a moment. "Though it sucks I'm out of the tournament."

"That's what I'm sorry for," Ike corrected, placing a hand on Lucas' back. "All those hours spent training against me and Ness, wasted."

"Nah, not really. Next season I'll be able to put it all to full use, right?" the redhead laughed before grabbing Ike's free hand with both of his. "Though if you really want to make it up to me..." he trailed off, smiling mischievously, yet another one of those expressions you never saw on Lucas, though it fit him perfectly when he did. "...you'll let me come with you back to your dorm."

Ike chuckled, pulling the smaller boy closer to his side. "And what shall we do once we get there?" he asked, playing along.

Lucas began walking him down the hall, gladly brushing against one another, shoulder to arm, respectively. "Oh, you know, fun stuff. Like polishing Ragnell and watching 300."

The taller bluenette put an arm around Lucas' waist. "Or maybe eat a dozen omelets and watch Animal Planet."

Lucas laughed. "Hmm. Maybe we can do something that we both find fun..." he suggested playfully, looking up at his boyfriend.

Ike met his eyes. It was rather nice, this playful banter. Normally Lucas would have stuttered into a flushed silence by now, which was admittedly cute as hell, but this wasn't bad either. "Would this fun require the removal of clothes?"

Lucas cast his eyes to the side. "Perhaps."

They reached the stairs just as he said this. "Well, I'm sold," Ike chuckled, ascending them as fast as he could without having to drag Lucas up behind him.

Lucas laughed. "I never knew just how badly you wanted to get into my pants, Ike," he noted as they touched down on the second floor. He stopped mid-chuckle, though, as he remembered something rather important. "Oh, wait a minute. It's like five thirty, right? Better go help Ness get ready for his date tonight."

Ike sighed; of _course_ they'd be interrupted. "He's a big boy, I'm sure he can do it himself."

Lucas grinned, separating himself from Ike once more. "Nah. I have a feeling he'll _forget_ or something," he said, using air quotes accordingly.

Ike rolled his eyes. "Right." After a few second of just walking down the hall towards the psychics' shared room, he spoke again. "But do you really think this is a good idea?"

Lucas kept walking. "Of course," he answered matter-of-factly. "Ness may act like he's all big and bad and whatnot, but when it comes to things like this, he's quite clueless. I'm just...giving him a nudge in he right direction, if you will," he chuckled again.

Ike snorted. "More like a giant toss," he corrected as they neared the correct dorm. "You're such a good person, Lucas."

Lucas laughed. "Oh, you know it. Like a saint!" he proclaimed as he rapped once on his own door before opening it up anyway, peeking his head in carefully. "Knock knock. Anyone home?"

Ness sat on the couch in their living room-esque area, staring at the T.V. as he played Marvel vs. Capcom 3 almost idly. Lucas stepped inside fully, tutting loudly. "Shame on you, Ness. Shouldn't you be getting ready for something?"

Ness paused his game when Ike closed the door behind him. "What are you talking about?"

Lucas threw his hands up into the air. "Your date, of course! Don't tell me you actually forgot!"

Ness' eyes widened as he remembered that conversation from earlier. "Oh yeah. Hey, wait a minute! You never did tell me who exactly I was taking out," he frowned at the redhead.

Lucas returned the expression. "Well, that's why it's called a blind date, smartass. You're not supposed to know." He strode over and turned the PS3 off, much to Ness' dismay.

"Hey, I was playing that!"

"Key word, was. Now c'mon, we have things to do!" the ever so slightly taller of the two pulled Ness from the couch and over to the bedroom. "You must look stunning for your date."

Ness' left eye twitched, somewhat shocked yet irritated at the redhead's self-assertion. _Asshole_. He shot Ike a questioning look, a look which Ike gave a shrug in return. Ness pulled his arm away from Lucas, who looked back at him with a frown. "Alright, man, fine. But I don't have any good clothes up here. I'll go get some. And I can do it myself!" he stepped back when Lucas shrugged and approached him once more.

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I can make you look like a sexy beast, though!"

Ness shook his head. "I think I'll manage," he assured, crossing his arms. "It's at seven, right? Where exactly am I going?"

"You know that restaurant, Grillsmith? That place," Lucas informed as Ness took off his backpack and rummaged around in it. "It's kinda far away, and it's kinda fancy, so make sure you look decent. The reservation'll be under Itoi."

Ness was still looking into his pack, frowning. "I don't have any money."

"That's fine, it's prepaid anyway. You can order whatever."

Ness raised an eyebrow. "That's awfully nice."

Lucas shrugged. "What can I say? Your date is generous."

Ness threw his backpack to the couch, resting hands on his hips. "...I see. So that's all I need to know?"

Lucas nodded. "Yep."

Ness exhaled. "Okay," he spoke, walking up to and opening the door. "See you guys tonight."

"Or if you get lucky, tomorrow!" Lucas laughed.

Ness slammed the door behind him.

"You really think this'll work?" Ike asked his boyfriend as the boy flopped down on the couch.

"Think? I know this'll work. Olimar's going to be so surprised. And Ness is going to make a fool of himself!" He laughed. "I wish I could be there, to see the look on his face when he sees him!"

Ike sat down beside Lucas. "But does Olimar like Ness back?"

"Of course. You act like I didn't do any research beforehand." Lucas climbed over into Ike's lap. "But enough about them. Let's talk about something else. Or, even better, let's not talk at all," he smirked, grabbing Ike's face and bringing it down to meet his lips.

_-asdfjkl;-_

Ness looked around him, making sure he was alone and not being watched before he opened the door and closed it hurriedly.

He was in the storage room, where everything from brawl-related items like Super Mushrooms or Home-Run Bats to miscellaneous crap like old brooms and extra lightbulbs were kept. Normally he wouldn't really have a use for this particular room, but today, he was on somewhat of a mission: he needed to look nice and spiffy for his blind date, but had no formal clothes. For this reason he snooped around inside the room, looking everywhere he could for something to wear. If any room would have fancy clothes, this one would. Maybe Peach's room, but he didn't want to go there if it could be avoided, because she would no doubt ask a flurry of stupid, gossipy questions. Ness could live without that.

After a few minutes of searching, the boy came across a mobile rack of clothes, on which were several different outfits, ranging from ratty and old to elegant and frilly. What in the world were these doing here, anyway? Ness, never one to question such good luck, ignored the rational part of his mind and sifted through his options, seeking something basic yet attractive. Orange jumpsuit? No. Hobo outfit? No. Frilly pink dress? Absolutely not.

Eventually he managed to find a nice gray polo, complete with black pants and a belt. It wasn't very formal, but it would have to do. Running back to lock the door to the room, he quickly shed his clothes and changed right there, feeling kind of self-conscious in the foreign space. Once he had everything on and belt firmly holding the slightly-too-big pair of pants up, he went to hang the hanger back up when he noticed something curious. A small cardboard box was shoved up against the wall behind all the clothes, like someone had tried to hide it, and there were big black words printed on it in scribbly handwriting: DO NOT OPEN.

Ness tilted his head to the side. Why would someone put a box they didn't want opened in plain reach of anyone? Plus, writing 'do not open' on it just made him want to open it more. After a few seconds of internal argument, he relented and grabbed the box from where it lay. It was very light. Ness opened the flaps and peered inside hesitantly, wondering what could be so secret about it.

It was empty.

Even more curious. But Ness was probably just reading too far into it. Shrugging, he placed it back where he found it and picked up his clothes, exiting the room as casually as if it were the bathroom or something.  
_  
-asdfjkl;-_

"Mpph! Ike, wh-what are you _doing_?"

Lucas yelped loudly as Ike trailed kisses down his neck and to his shirtless torso. Said shirt was in Ike's hands, as he had just taken it off as revenge for the redhead pulling his own shirt away mischievously. The bluenette stopped what he was doing and looked at Lucas' shocked face. "Well, I was just about to start licking your n—"

"Not what I meant!" the boy blushed furiously, still not used to such...dirty talk. "I just have no idea why we're even...d-doing this. Where are we, anyway?" he looked around a bit. "My and Ness' room? Why? Ness could walk in at any moment!"

Ike sat up once more, placing the shirt he had taken from Lucas in his lap. "So you forgot again? How you get amnesia while we're going at it is beyond me..." Lucas squirmed a bit beneath him, feeling rather guilty and embarrassed. "You set Ness up on a blind date, remember? He won't be back for a while."

"I did?" he asked, genuinely surprised at himself. "With who?"

"Olimar."

"Oh..." he trailed off, though he still looked quite out of it. Then his eyes settled on the shirt Ike had in his hands. "Could you give me back Clau—my, m-my shirt, please? I don't...want anything to happen to it..."

Ike raised an eyebrow. "So you don't trust me with your shirt now?"

Lucas shook his head frantically. "N-no! That's not it at all! It's just..." he trailed off, grabbing it along with Ike. "It's special. I don't want to lose it. Not again."

Ike could see in the boy's eyes that the shirt held substantial sentimental value, so he let go, and Lucas took it and carefully folded it up, laying it to the side on the adjacent coffee table. They stayed silent for a minute, Ike trying to calculate the boy below him's demeanor while Lucas looked up at him with an unreadable expression.

When Ike moved to get off him though, thinking the mood had been killed, Lucas grabbed his wrists quickly, making the mercenary look back down at him. Lucas' face was red again, but he smiled shyly up at him. "Maybe we could...well, y'know, since we already got this far, we might as well..."

Ike just stared at him for a long moment before he threw his head back and laughed harder than he had in a while. Lucas was redder than a tomato and squirming beneath him. "Wh-what?"

The bluenette's laughter ceased as he brought his head back down to nuzzle into Lucas' neck. "You're so cute."

Lucas giggled a little, wrapping thin arms around Ike's back. "Well, you're not too bad looking yourself," he answered, enjoying the warmth radiating from his boyfriend's body.

An hour later, they ended up cuddled together, watching Animal Planet and eating omelets.

—**e**—**n**—**d**—**c**—**h**—**a**—**p**—**t**—**e**—**r** —

_**A/N: D'awww. Animal Planet is like the most romantic channel ever. -shot-**_

I swear I'm going to write that date that Ness and Olimar go on. I will. Might not be soon, but I will. Also, that box is important. Seriously.

And so Nana's quest for love begins! I really need to get some het couples in here. I will, one day.

So Claus!Lucas is basically a confident, charming, cooler version of Lucas. With dyed red hair. Wait until Lucas sees what he did to his hair...lol. Next up is Green!Lucas. Place your bets on his personality now!

So, didja find this chappie to be satisfactory? Leave a review telling me whatcha liked, didn't like, things I can improve on, etc. etc. They make me smile!

See ya real soon~. C:


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